Anxiety Aunt: Help! I foolishly fell for someone who does not feel the same, how do I forget about him?

Dear Aunty, They say there’s no fool like an old fool and I am certainly feeling like that at the moment. Against all my better judgment I let my friends set me up with a new man after being divorced from my husband of 25 years for seven years. I was quite happy alone but did miss having someone to share my life with. However, after a six months of dating it became clear to me that this fellow actually wasn’t really interested in sharing my life, just my bed. I must admit I fell hard and am quite distraught at this turn of events — not to mention the fact that it took me a while to realise I was the only one emotionally invested in the relationship. I have already kicked the man to the kerb, as you like to say, but I need some tips to get over him because I do see him around a fair bit and it’s difficult to get over someone when they are still in your life. Yours, Regretful Dear Regretful, Now first of all, ditch the regrets. He may have notched you up as an extra mark on his bedpost but you can notch him up to a lesson learnt and an experience you won’t repeat. Don’t paint yourself as a fool when really all you were doing was opening up your life and your heart to someone who unfortunately wasn’t as invested as you. It’s nothing to be ashamed of and we cannot help the way we feel. It is a pity the man in question didn’t share your feelings but there is certainly no point in dwelling on what might have been. It is indeed difficult to get over someone who is still in your life. Your Aunt knows this feeling all too well from a previous dalliance that never really got off the ground but still left your Aunt feeling like a wounded sparrow who had had her wings clipped and fell from a great height. At the time, One took it as hard as you have. One spent far too long thing about the what-ifs and prolonged One’s own pain in the process. But then One realised life is too darn short to wallow in self-pity and spend One’s days pining over a man who had made it clear he did not feel the same. So here’s what you will do, Regretful. You will pick yourself up, dust yourself off and re-establish your self-worth. You will not listen to sad songs or indulge in soppy romantic novels, movies or TV shows. Yes, One is talking a complete Bridgerton ban, hard as it is with a new season to tempt you, but trust your Aunt — don’t do it! You will spoil yourself with massages and afternoon teas and nice lunches with friends. You will do things that up your confidence and self-esteem, like go for a manicure or a haircut. You will fill your life with enjoyable moments that also help occupy your mind. And every time your thoughts stray to this man, you will imagine a little roadblock popping up in your head directing you away from an approaching hazard. When you see him you will be polite and say hello and leave it at that. This may seem harsh but you owe him nothing more, especially when you are still trying to piece yourself together. Then one day, Regretful, you are going to wake up and feel no different to any of the days that have come before. But when you bump into this man, you will suddenly feel nothing. He’ll just be someone that you know but no longer someone you particularly care about or lust after. Ultimately, the heart is a very stubborn organ that is not very good at patching itself up and moving on, so unfortunately it takes time to recover from a broken heart. One day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time, but you will get there. And when you do, don’t ever look back.