Help! I’m divorcee with a new lease on life but my friends say I’m having a midlife crisis, what should I do?

Dear Aunty, I’m in my mid-50s and recently single after getting divorced. Since the break-up I have undergone a bit of a mindset shift and makeover and feel like I have a new lease on life. The problem is most of my friends are still in relationships and marriages and they seem to have taken an almost negative view of my mental and physical transformation. And when I say transformation, it’s not like I have had a face lift or anything extreme, I am just taking an interest in how I look, buying new clothes and make-up and working out and eating better. I thought they would be supportive of me striving for a sense of happiness after years of being in a bad marriage but it appears they are not. As an example, I asked if any of them would like to come with me to a music festival but they all said no and commented that we weren’t 20 anymore. When I went and bought myself a ticket to go alone, they made disparaging jokes about me having a midlife crisis. I find their comments hurtful and unnecessary. Do I bother telling them how I feel or just keep living my life? Yours, Disappointed Dear Disappointed, Your Aunt has always found it baffling the way society tries to put limits on middle-aged women. It’s like it has been decided that if you have a 5 at the front of your age instead of a 4 then you suddenly can no longer wear much make-up, expose your midriff, wear short skirts or be at a bar beyond 10pm. And worse still, often those who are tutting the loudest, rolling their eyes or whispering behind their hands when a spirited woman dares defy these unwritten rules, are other women of a similar age. It’s like women have developed a strange case of Stockholm syndrome where they themselves are the ones vehemently upholding the outdated and downright misogynistic rules that have oppressed them for centuries. Your Aunt pays no heed to such nonsense but One has always preferred to dance to the beat of One’s own drum. And One salutes others who do the same. After all, what is obeying society’s unwritten rules if not a form of mass people pleasing? And if there is one thing your Aunt is opposed to it is forsaking your own happiness to keep others on side. We have one life, Disappointed, and one shot at getting it right and having as much fun as we can along the way. One cannot think of anything worse than looking back on life and regretting all the ways One had buckled to trends or the judgment of others. Like regretting not flaunting spectacular abs in a bikini beyond the age of 45 or not wearing short skirts despite having fantastic legs or thinking, “My, goodness one of my life’s greatest joys was seeing bands play live but because none of my friends were keen and I felt too self conscious going alone, I gave up doing something I loved”. If you’ve got it flaunt it and if you love it, do it. That’s your Aunt’s advice. So, dear Disappointed, One thinks the attitude of your friends stinks, to be quite frank. And One suspects there is likely more than a touch of envy going on as well. After all, those holding the prison keys, don’t like you to point out they are also behind the barbed wire fence. So, stuff them, Disappointed. Head off to your music festival, baring both your legs and your midriff if you so choose, and have a fabulous time. Don’t let their judgments mar the experiences you have ahead of you or the way you choose to live your life. If that means ultimately that these friendships will fall by the wayside as you journey on through a more colourful life, then so be it. If they don’t have your back or support your happiness then are they even friends worth having? One is sure you will meet some more like-minded people in time, possibly even at the festival you are going to. The main thing is that you stay true to you, Disappointed, and make the most of every second.